when i get home, the feeling of relief of mine was so overwhelmed at the moment i saw my big bed, switched on the aircond, threw my bag a side, sleep like no tomorrow.
i remembered, i was having a fabulous dream. as for what am i dreaming, is not the matter...when my dream starts to get a little exciting, in a sense of dim, i heard some sharp and noise sounds..and i wondered what sounds would that be..
*ring...ring...ring...*
yes, it was my house phone. have no choice, i was being awakened by the loud noise. reluctantly to wake up and answer the phone, everything has changed.
' do you know, ... she just passed away......'
that moment, i was indescribable with words. my feelings are all mixed up and i was not feeling sad nor anything feeling, i was just feeling numb.
human are fragile, no matter how well you take care urself, when the time comes, its done. one strike and that's it, ur life is done with a full stop; no undo, no restart.
its been a long time since we've meet, and i did not aspect for the next time we met, would be at ur funeral, i am sorry...
attended the funeral, i try to accept the facts that u had left, but i could. in fact, i pray and hope hard that everything happening now was just in my dream...seeing u for the very last time, sleeping peacefully without any disturbance, i supposed everything would be just fine.
i wonder, where would u go and how would the place that u're proceeding be? is there really an another 'world'? can u see what and where are we? and can u actually hear us? i need to talk to u so badly...and i hope the phone rings could ring second time to awake me from this dream, but it did not.
seeing u leaving was the hard part in my life..and the tears are just bursting themselves out without my permission, i dont know why...but, that's life. everyone of us would definitely come across with that situation, but its too early for u.
may you rest in peace, my respected teacher. all the best in there..
do ppl actually read this? i dont noe, but i need to express myself, sometimes, at somewhere......
